Intro

We've all got a story
That nobody knows,
Well.. possibly the nutshell
But the caliber, no. 
Not the steps that you've walked
Or the shoes that you've worn,
Some lies that you've told
But not the bridges you've burned. 
And no matter how different,
You're always the same
Until you prove yourself special
And even then, you're just strange.
Success is a struggle
When all you want is to fit,
It's like the rounder you feel,
The squarer you get.
Life is like a cliff
You get higher, it gets harder
But that's how you grow,
Get stronger, and smarter.
Cause we've all got that story
That nobody knows,
This here is mine
And here's how it goes...

Tomorrow

I know its true, I'm just a small town guy
And like everyone should, I've got big time dreams.
I'm told I've got a special twinkle in my eye
So to me, nothing's impossible it seems. 
Whether I'm on the big screen in Hollywood
Or running the country from the White House, 
Simply a father in your neighborhood
Or go clinically insane and turn a louse,
I'm gonna try, strive, I've gotta be the best
Cause in my heart, I know thats all i am.
I'll always go for gold and ace every test,
And never give up til my face is a stamp.
I'm perfect the way I am, being me,
Thats why I'll never fall, besides in history. 

"Must Be Something"

Shes different
Shes strange
She can be violent
And duranged. 
Shes small
But shes cute
Shes got balls 
And its cool. 
Shes wild
Shes not perfect
She makes me smile
And shes worth it.
Shes my friend
And shes there,
Shes always been
Im aware.
Shes amazing
Shes darling
Shes my craving,
And I'm falling.

Dream Girl

A shelter from the rain
And a shield from the pain
Is the smile on your face
For the happiness in mine.
So, why is it, in my dreams
You run away giggling, it seems?
Likes these forests and fields
Are our playground for chase and tag.
I know nothing about you, besides,
Your hair is blonde, Your dress is white
You always run, but never hide
And after years, I've never gotten any closer.
I just have one question, Why?
You're right there, but you, I can't find.

Keys

Ive had along day
Im tired and a little sore,
I wanna sleep it all away
But i came home to a locked door.
I checked under the mat
But couldn't find the spare.
I checked the pocket where I sat,
But it wasnt even there.
Til I found it in my wallet
And I slipped it in the slot,
It didnt fit when I installed it,
I guess somebody changed the lock.
Apparently I wasnt welcome,
I was booted to the street.
Locked out of the place I call home
And forced to retreat.
I cant sleep because life is relentless
But all Ive got left is time
And i couldnt waste it being restless,
Because tomorrow, I have a cliff to climb.

Guilty As Charged

We're all just a lil too insecure
Doesnt mean our hearts aren't pure
And over-analyze a bit too much
Because we all have issues with trust
And we all try just a smidgeon too hard
Because some relationships lose their spark
And face it, we're all so stubborn
Because, metaphorically, we don't like being worn
And nobody really likes to lose
But it happens, don't blow a fuse
We're all just a lil too selfish
And a bit too conscious
And stuck in own own heads
So, how about a solution instead?
Accept that our minds are monstrous,
Forget it all, and rock on like Elvis.

In-Between

Its possible I leaned a slight but too far
But my intentions were pure, I meant no such harm. 
And maybe I did get a little too close
When I looked in your eyes and nuzzled my nose
Then angled my face til our lips were as one
And not letting go til all my body was numb. 
But to me, it was special, a moment prolonged
Like it was meant to happen, like it belonged. 
We're two of a kind but still one in the same,
So I won't push the issue, only push to refrain.
I have a feeling you're the whom in which I've been waiting
But please don't let this turn an error that I'm making.
I'd love to be your clock, the one that makes you tick
Just don't let this change what we have, true friendship.

Companion's Inferno

As the ground's growing closer,
The end, it grows near,
It seems I've been falling 
For hundreds of years. 
So why now am I dawning
On the decision, that risk?
My last thoughts-- of regret
'Cause my death would be brisk. 
I remember the edge
Of the cliff at the top,
I was happily content
But a fire forced me off.
Just a touch caused a spark,
That one spark, an explosion.
It was over in an instant
Like a time-lapsed erosion.
Now I'm praying to God
Like a whine without hope,
To spare me my life
But I figured he won't.
Then a splat, unforgiving,
I was over, this was it...
Til I opened my eyes
To a miracle, a bridge!
I looked down, it was there,
All the others that missed
They surrendered their battles,
Of the pursuit of that kiss.
Then I followed it along,
Its planks barely stable.
But a failure to cross
Would surely be fatal.
Up ahead in the distance,
I see an entrance to a cave
As I approach, it gets foggy
And dark, I'm deathly afraid.
My last step from the bridge
Is a leap of sheer faith,
It had withered beneath me
But at least I was safe.
Now I set off into darkness,
Not 'cause I can't return,
Because that fire was closing
And I had begun to grow burnt.
So I roared through the cave,
Just as the flames on my tail
Til the end of the darkness,
Turned an ocean unveiled.
I dove into the water
And swam until I couldn't,
And even then, I just floated
With the winds and the current.
My aspirations are crumbling,
And dreams fading away,
All my sores and my wounds
Exponentially ache.
So I pushed and I powered
All my will and my might
Cause the quest was near ending,
All my treasure now in sight.
The glowing gold of the sun
Tainted by a silhouette alone,
Proved I'd soon have my prize
All I've wanted all along.
When I finally reached it
Life collectively stopped
Besides the fire behind me,
Which I fortunately caught.
What i thought was an enemy
Was an angel, just pushing me forward,
It was the answer to my prayers
And propelled me when cornered.
But all that is over,
Behind me, in the past,
Because now that I have it,
Its my first and my last.
Now I'll never surrender
No matter how tough,
Cause I'll always have this trophy
And that'll never be not enough.

Game of Life

This boredom consumes me, 
Guess its time for a thrill
Got a one in six chance
And I'm down for the kill. 
Im the third in this line
And I'm ready to drop. 
As the first finger pulls,
I see the trigger get cocked.
All i hear is a click
Then a sigh of relief
But the game must go on
Til the bullet's released.
Now this shot, one in five
Feel the death that is coming,
Im prepared, without fear
Cause my body is numbing.
Time for guy number two
To step to the plate,
Brings the gun to his temple
And angles it straight.
He pulls and he pulls
But he can't trip the trigger,
Til he screams in a rage
And slams down his finger.
And finally, now
The revolver in hand
I stare down the barrel
At my 1 in 4 chance.
The trigger is cold
And the handle so sweaty
And both make it hard
To hold it there steady.
Got this gun to my head
Playin Russian roulette
But got no worries now
Cause im finally dead.

Prison

It is not an emotion or some feelings
Nor is it a house; it's a home
Though it has no walls or ceilings
Its a promise to never leave her alone.
It ain't something that steps forever
Though its not bordered or bounded
Across the room, the world, wherever
It is an everlasting pact compounded.
It is not judgment, jealousy or greed
Nor a white-flag surrender
The fat lady will never sing
Cause with love, there is no contender.

Bipolar Billy

Gun to my head, playin Russian roulette
With all I've been through what can you expect
People pissin me off and I gotta get out
Shut the fuck up or I'm gonna shout!
I'm done with this stress
My life is a mess
Imma complete and total wreck, I am useless!
Just a waste of space...
But hey, ill work for tomorrow and change my own fate
Just give it some time cause life, it is cruel
It's always a battle, a contstant duel.
But honestly, life is so worthwhile
So I'll let go of the trigger, maybe crack a smile.

Ode

Fuck havin a family
And fuck havin a friend
Cause I got all that I need:
Myself, this paper, and this pen
I ain't got too much else
Cuz a mother fucker snitched
And another fucker fronted 
And my step dads a bitch. 
You see, these people are like monkeys,
Always flingin 'round their shit
But monkeys eat bananas
And all 'they' eat is dick.
Then y'all are hatin 'hind my back
I guess you're tripping bout the fuzz..?
What the fuck is going on?
And after everything I've done?
And since when is bein the judge cool?
Cause all you fuckers do it
It's cuz you're jealous of me ain't it?
Yeah I'm right, I fuckin knew it.

Another Soldier Down

There was a way to be closer
But there was also a risk, 
There were lives on the line
What if the results were brisk?
Instead of attacking head on
We waited it out
And we lost a good man
For what reason? A doubt?
He was prepared to die
Just to be my friend and yours,
And that's exactly what happened,
His body a wreckage of wounds and sores.
Whatever happened along the way
He was there to overcome
He was the stitching all along
But now that he's gone, its undone.
He built a bridge for the gap
And told us, "you go, I'll jump"
Now we're here and he's there
Hit every jagged edge and bump.
And on his way down,
The final thoughts in his head:
He was sorry he failed,
Not blaming us, but gravity instead.

That's just the story,
The lie that we're told,
As the public, we're cut off
The real story in the fold.
He didn't jump, he was pushed,
He didn't fail, he was killed,
He was turned on, betrayed
Because the lie that was built.

You took this mans life
After all that he gave
And you lie of his valor
Instead of praising his grave.
The purity of his heart
And the brilliance of his brain
Thanks to you, are no longer
Never to be matched again.

Rainbows and Butterflies

It feels good because I feel
But it hurts because the pain
I don't do it for attention,
I do it to maintain.
I know I'm not a chicken,
But I still cross the street
And sometimes take the alley
Because it feels real to bleed.
Talking doesn't help
But seeing is believing
You look like you care,
But looks can be deceiving.
When the numbness hits,
It's Muhammad Ali
Like its David vs. Goliath
But this ending ain't happy.
Life is but a hopeless dream
Full of despair and anxiety
I've lost everything,
All hope in humanity.
Nobody can save me
My only friend is the blade
Death doesn't scare me
Cuz I don't feel, I'm not afraid.

Life is what you make it
If it sucks, why not change it?
Yeah it's a challenge, embrace it.
Your mind may be a mess,
I'm here to help you arrange it.

The D

To you, D is a letter
Fourth of the alphabet.
But to me, it's much better,
More than a consonant.
What D is to me,
It is an adventure
And it deserves to be
In the movie The Avengers.
It's a hero, in a sense,
And it cannot be stopped,
Cause it'll hop a whole fence
As it runs from the cops.
Then it'll jump from a roof
And get inches from death,
Though it has nothing to prove
Cause it's got all the respect.
It's the orangest of reds
Slightly freckled and ginger,
Does it ever go to bed?!
Or ever get injured?
It's there when you need it,
At the right time it shows
To the end of this planet
This letter will go.
It's family without blood
And the loyalest friend.
Hit it if you need a bud
You've officially been 'Dalton-ed'

Sleep

The sun is coming up
And my eyelids won't go down,
Just another sleepless night
In this god forsaken town.
I've been sittin, reminiscing,
Thinkin bout the past,
Dawning on decisions
And parties that I've crashed. Throughout my 19 years,
Every smile since my birth,
Every giggle that I laughed
Since I came into this Earth.
Was a lie that goes unspoken
Like a mask upon my face
So why bother trying now
My existence is a waste
All I wanted was to feel
To feel cared for and loved
Feel happiness and joy
And feel it truly, not a bluff.
But I never, ever got it
Til the night I spent alone
Just kidding, I was with 'her'
Unless it was her clone!
I was happy to just live
And to look into her eyes
At first sight, fell in love
I couldn't help it, alright.
She is everything I want
Because with her again, I'm free
She's got the beauty and the brain
And she makes me fucking happy.

Mankind, Mancruel

Born into rags
To fight for himself
Nobody around
As hes begging for help.
You start from the bottom?
He started from under.
Stricken by lightning,
Pummeled by thunder.
His mother is Earth,
Wind, water and fire,
His father is Satan
His home is the "Empire."
He feels nothing but pain
And hes ready to crack
It doesn't help that his "friends"
Stab him in the back

To live is a choice
Death is no decision,
But if the offer'd arise
He'd pick death in an instant.
He is trapped in a prison
That he'll never escape
Oh, NOW he regrets
That apple he ate.
The fruit was so sweet
But its poison was sour
This would quickly become
His darkest of hours.

To those done him wrong
Prepare for a torture
Hes in line for the throne
And soon he'll take over.
Remember his dad?
How he ruled within border,
Well a new wrath is dawning
Be ready to answer to the New World Order.

Unspoken

The door that said pull
I mistakenly pushed.
The cup was half full
Til it fell in the bush.
I was ready to change it
All it needed was time.
But my petty impatience
Ruined that dream of mine.
Now I try and I try
Though my attempts are in vain
No matter what, no matter why
It makes me happily insane.
I'll never stop or surrender
Cause this is my only desire
And the only contender,
The only light to my fire.

If my sorry meant a thing
I'd be smiling instead.
What was a little sting
Has cancerously spread.
It's probably implied
That this apology is broken
Cause I'm stupid and I lied
So it's going unspoken.

She was the door
Her saddened past was the lock
Thought I had it and scored
But I fucked up, and lost.

Try Me

Yo I'm single and I'm sexy
Yeah that's confidence, so test me
Its all legal, try n' arrest me
I love that booty and your breast meat
Unless you're snooty and you're bitchy 
Then you just will not get with me 
Cause my girls gotta be classy 
With just the right twist of sassy
I feel my third leg, it's enhancing
Maybe lets skip right to the dancing
Baby start dropping them panties
No need to do nothing fancy
Because you're so fucking deadly
When you're in the bed with me
Yeah you're so beautiful baby
So be my Kim, I'll be your shady.

The Game of Life

This boredom consumes me, 

Guess its time for a thrill

Got a one in six chance

And I'm down for the kill. 

Im the third in this line

And I'm ready to drop. 

As the first finger pulls,

I see the trigger get cocked. 

All i hear is a click

Then a sigh of relief

But the game must go on

Til the bullet's released. 

Now this shot, one in five

Feel the death that is coming,

Im prepared, without fear

Cause my body is numbing. 

Time for guy number two

To step to the plate,

Brings the gun to his temple

And angles it straight. 

He pulls and he pulls

But he can't trip the trigger,

Til he screams in a rage

And slams down his finger.

And finally, now

The revolver in hand

I stare down the barrel

At my 1 in 4 chance. 

The trigger is cold

And the handle so sweaty

And both make it hard 

To hold it there steady. 

Got this gun to my head

Playin Russian roulette

But got no worries now

Cause im finally dead. 

Companions Inferno

As the ground's growing closer,

The end, it grows near,

It seems I've been falling 

For hundreds of years. 

So why now am I dawning

On the decision, that risk?

My last thoughts-- of regret

'Cause my death would be brisk. 

I remember the edge

Of the cliff at the top,

I was happily content

But a fire forced me off. 

Just a touch caused a spark,

That one spark, an explosion.

It was over in an instant

Like a time-lapsed erosion. 

Now I'm praying to God

Like a whine without hope,

To spare me my life

But I figured he won't.

Then a splat, unforgiving,

I was over, this was it...

Til I opened my eyes

To a miracle, a bridge!

I looked down, it was there,

All the others that missed

They surrendered their battles,

Of the pursuit of that kiss. 

Then I followed it along,

Its planks barely stable. 

But a failure to cross

Would surely be fatal. 

Up ahead in the distance, 

I see an entrance to a cave

As I approach, it gets foggy

And dark, I'm deathly afraid.

My last step from the bridge

Is a leap of sheer faith,

It had withered beneath me

But at least I was safe. 

Now I set off into darkness, 

Not 'cause I can't return,

Because that fire was closing

And I had begun to grow burnt. 

So I roared through the cave,

Just as the flames on my tail

Til the end of the darkness,

Turned an ocean unveiled. 

I dove into the water

And swam until I couldn't,

And even then, I just floated

With the winds and the current. 

My aspirations are crumbling,

And dreams fading away,

All my sores and my wounds

Exponentially ache. 

So I pushed and I powered

All my will and my might

Cause the quest was near ending, 

All my treasure now in sight. 

The glowing gold of the sun

Tainted by a silhouette alone,

Proved I'd soon have my prize

All I've wanted all along. 

When I finally reached it

Life collectively stopped

Besides the fire behind me,

Which I fortunately caught. 

What I thought was an enemy

Was an angel, just pushing me forward, 

It was the answer to my prayers

And propelled me when cornered. 

But all that is over, 

Behind me, in the past,

Because now that I have it,

Its my first and my last. 

Now I'll never surrender

No matter how tough,

Cause I'll always have this trophy

And that'll never be not enough.

Holly!

Hey holly if you read this you should text me 7159534659! Havent talked to you in so long! I miss you. :)

Beautiful Dreams

Sitting alone, nearly crying in bed
I simply cannot get her outta my head
Remember the night, so long ago
Twas my only chance, but it--i would blow
The problem was me, the solution so simple
I was shy, kinda scared, and overly dimple
She looked me in the eyes, extended her lips
She made the first move, what a first kiss!
But theres where she caught me--that was the start
The night where she stole, straight up robbed my heart
I wish she'd talk to me so i'd feel less glum
I feel unworthy, like a useless street bum
No, i cannot compare to her sheer, utter beauty
I miss her so much & love her so truly
Though i'd give all my love, it doesn't matter
Its okay, i understand, im not worthy to have her.

Story One

No, I wasn't perfect, but nor were you,
I went too fast, like skipping step 1 and 2.
Unrealistic goals and awkward ambitions had grown
Like a strange love for something unliving and unknown.
No praying, no god, or others could've fixed
I got lost and had fallen, lost sight in a mist
Now, in an endless abyss, alone and so scared,
Am I strong enough? Is this struggle to be dared?

I had lost all my morals, values and beliefs
Then I lost you, and lost all relief.
I battled through the darkness, but surrendered all hope
Seemed no end to that tunnel, so I moaned and groped.

But it was my mistakes that had led to this struggle
Then I remembered, I'm no wizard, I'm muggle.
That's when it hit me, a revelation of sorts,
I AM only human, and simply lost my supports.
Thought i needed outer force to withstand the rout
But if I'd got myself there, I could get myself out.

With confidence, I rose, stared down destiny and mightyly roared
Releasing the negative energy from within that I'd stored.
I steamrolled forward, through webs and through rivers
I fought off monsters, hunger and shivers.

Before I knew it, month had gone by,
I realized how I'd wasted none of my time.
So I pushed on much further and til I saw a dim light,
The end of this sadness, and the end to this strife.
I reached the checkered flag, turned and screamed strongly,
"I win, and you lose," til the darkness sobbed ever-so calmly.

So what had I learned? My strengths? Weaknesses?
Both and neither. I learned I make messes.
I spent that last while fighting all that thought they could
I went on a journey, did what I had known was for good.
However, I realized this brawl wasn't solely my weather
We needed to do this, and do this together
I'm here to help if needed, but its all up to you,
Will you try us again, so happily we can say, "We powered right through."

Untitled

Hey there, momma. Yo, how've you been dad?
Its me, your son, hope this makes you mad.
But I'm back for good, yup, I've finally returned.
Only now, this is my house and ooh yeah, I've matured!
This life you gave me is a war I'm here to end.
Look around at what you've done, your life is a regret.
The world as you know it, as of now is done
Do these conflicts cease your battles? Not even one.
The way it looks to me, through my humble perspective,
Your disagreements've turned a combat, and guns get expensive.
Leading to problems B-Z, government taxes and political sovereignty,
Electing those manipulated, and swarms of domestic poverty.
You are the initial cause to the quandary, and I'm the Guerrilla with a solution.
I'll overthrow your office, and bring hiatus to your reign of pollution.

Ode of Odes

I've begged, Ive plead', so many nights I've spent on my knees,
Though time was not wasted, it seemingly freezed.
My vertebrae creek 'cause this position I'm in,
Constantly in a state of desolation, I've been.
The fruit of my bosom has soured like milk,
Like it sleeps in a bed of death and its flower has wilted.
Just as you have, my pleaseant demeanor has vanished,
And over this time, happiness was deprived and so famished.
Its been a year, maybe two, but an eternity it seems
And ever since, my hopes and dreams are in smithereens
Forever lost in oblivion; but to where haveyou escaped?
All i feel is nostalgia because your departure raised the stakes.
Though my infinite compassion is hopelessly illuminated above,
No words could possibly describe how i truly feel, in love.

Remembering Brock Jones

A friend, student, family member, and son
A part of the community, and simply an acquaintance to some.
Our worldly labels can no longer judge him, His child
For his time had come, His intentions unknown and reasoning veiled.
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."(1)
So let us not mourn, but rejoice in the life of young Brock Jones.
Because, "In my father's home there are many rooms,
If it were not so... would I go to prepare a place for you?"(2)
Though his physical being has departed, we need not worry or dawn,
Reserved is his place in Heaven, safe is his soul where it has gone.
Brock was a smart, loved, respected young man,
Know that he was borrowed, not taken, by His loving hand.
And although he never told us "remember," we will not forget,
For compassion is enduring, and in our hearts he will be forever kept.

(1) proverbs 17:22
(2) john 14:2

Finally Moving On..?

Ill give it up, ill give it all away
Just give me one good reason, why should i stay?
Say the word babe, and ill shut it down
Aint gonna lie hun, id rather stay around
Time is of the essence, constantly alive,
Im falling for you, like i clumsily dived
Deep into your heart, so i may find the key
Ill stay for the night, that promise to you--ill keep,
Gimme a chance, youll see, you just might,
Id like to stay a week, instead of just the night.
I really should go, but i wouldnt just split
Now is the time to make a final mark
Because, when it comes down to it
To ingite a fire, all we need is a spark.